I stopped taking my antidepressants about three months ago, and I’ve been going so well. So when I started feeling a bit wobbly mid week, it was more…disappointing than anything else. I wasn’t feeling down, but I was definitely feeling anxious. I was into my forties when I finally realised I’d suffered from anxiety most of my life. Ironically, I learned this during a mental health first aid workshop! We were studying the symptoms, and as PowerPoint revealed them one by one, I silently ticked my own boxes. I had known those things myself, I just hadn’t had name for them. Knowledge is power! And now I know what to do.
I go to my yoga mat. Journal. Remind myself that the self-doubt, mild paranoia and worries racing through my mind are just thoughts – not facts, not dangerous. And I pick up my crochet hook. I was feeling particularly uncomfortable in myself on Wednesday. Unable to settle. Disliking so badly what was going on in my head. I grabbed my hook, and ninety minutes later – all was well?! Amazing!!
However, I was still a little…subdued. Was my wellness slipping away? Would the battle ever end? Cleaning out my bedside drawer later that day, I happened upon my box of Crazy Sexy Love Notes. Why not? I drew a card. “You are healing“. Perfect! Because I’m reminded that it’s ok. It’s not happening again. I’m not slipping away. I am healing, and it’s a process. I might always have these times of anxiety – I suspect it’s just how I’m wired. But now, when the discomfort comes, it doesn’t engulf me. It no longer spirals out of control, into something so very much worse. Instead, I know what I need to do to stay well. I am healing.
That’s a perfect mantra – a good reminder that it’s a process, I guess. I’m glad that crochet worked to calm you this week, it definitely has a therapeutic quality. Also a good reminder that they’re just thoughts, not facts. As someone with anxiety, I relate so much to this post, it was good to read – thank you for sharing! 🙂 That picture is absolutely gorgeous. ❤
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You’re welcome, and thank you. It was a long time wip that I actually finally finished just two days ago – a big crazy colour cardi – pics up yesterday if you’d like to see 🙂
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Coincidentally I wrote a blog post about crochet and wellbeing yesterday! https://coastalcrochet.com/2017/05/05/crochet-your-way-to-wellbeing/
I’m so glad to read this and how crochet has helped you…😊❤💕
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Great post, I have commented over there 🙂
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I love those cards! They’re beautiful. How wonderful that you picked just the perfect one that you needed in that moment. 😀
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Yes it was pretty cool 🙂 They are such beautiful cards. I must pull another right now!
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